Apparently today is National Coming Out Day – which made me think that I never officially came out to my family. On the other hand, I never felt the need to.
The majority of my mother’s friends when I grew up were gay, so I never got the impression that there’s an identity I could choose for myself that would not have my mother’s full support. I never hid my attraction to boys and girls. However, I never outright stated I’m bisexual either. For that reason, I’m not sure my mother is aware of it?Not that it would make a difference.
When I ended up with a guy, it meant a bit of a surprise to my friends at the time. Somehow they always expected me to end up with a girl (Heaven knows I kissed enough), and the whole affair with my ogre was a rushed head-over-heels-thing happening so fast that it felt unreal.
I’m not sure I ever came out to him. I continued to be confident and open about my attraction to my own gender as well as the opposite, but I don’t think I ever put it explicitely into words for him.
I’m a mother myself now, but other than I when I grew up, my kids have only little representation of queer identities (other than myself) in their life. I’m not a very outgoing person, and my social circle is tiny. Because of that, it’s all the more important to me to be inclusive when talking about sexuality and romance to show my girls that whatever they want to be and who they want to date (if at all), it’s okay. I think my kids are the only people I explicitely told about my bisexuality, but they’re the only ones who count.
Of course, they’re in that age where everything mom does is just embarrassing.
Source: Inktober #6 – Jo Henny Wolf